Monday, December 13, 2010


6:45 AM.  No need for an son is stirring in his crib to alert me that it's time to get moving.  I take my last few precious moments of warmth in bed to think through the day.  I'm tired, wishing I had gone to bed earlier.  Yet at the same time I'm often inspired in the morning.  Heck, I'm inspiring to others at that time of day!  I have an admirable schedule planned, filled with a moms group, grocery shopping, exercise, cleaning, and Christmas preparation.  Keeping my busy 16-month-old entertained consumes a rather large portion of the day as well.  But it's morning and I'm energized to start a fresh day!  The possibilities of what I can accomplish!  I can do it all!  Before I peel the sheets back and roll over to put my feet on the floor, I vow to myself that I will indeed use each and every moment of the day wisely.

The day begins and my son and I play, grocery shop, work, stop for more play, and the hours pass--some of the tasks accomplished.   No problem.  I'll finish the rest of the list after my son goes to bed, right? 

And then...IT happens, just like this.  Supper rolls around, bath time, getting ready for bed.  Kitchen clean-up.  Ah, a moment to sit.  I think I'll just finish my dinner and watch a little T.V.  It's 7:30 PM and I've still got plenty of time (toddler-free!) to work.  7:45, supper done.  I'll just sit here a few more minutes.  8:00 PM.  Ooohh, I want to see what happens in this show.  8:30 PM.  My, this couch is comfy.  9:00 PM.  Okay, now I'll get going.  9:30 PM.  You know what?  Morning comes quickly but my "night self" isn't too worried about the "morning self" at the moment.  10:30 PM.  11:30 PM.  Ugh. Must wash face and brush teeth before I turn in.  My husband and I drag our groggy bodies to bed.  I feel like I'm in for a T.V. hangover, complete with guilt for wasting my time on that which fills me temporarily and leaves me empty afterwards.

What happens to me???  All my good "morning self" intentions are gone, lost in the abyss of T.V.   The black hole of  8-11 PM sucks me in with a voracious appetite every time.  I have heard a teacher at church, Sybil Towner, say that whatever we choose to do in a given moment is what we choose as the priority that is most important to us at that time.  Yes, we have obligations like work schedules which dictate certain hours of our day.  But what am I choosing to do with the time I've been given?  Am I really the kind of person who chooses T.V. as the most important priority so often?  That doesn't sit well with me.  It certainly doesn't represent the woman I long to be.

My purpose is not to complain about the evils of T.V.  Personally, I have no problem with a enjoying a good game, taking in an inspiring movie, having the chance to crack up at a funny sitcom (as sparse as those sitcoms may be!).  But where are most of my hours going to during the week?  How am I investing my time?  I want to work on making sure that I don't quit "trekking" in the evening and become a complete couch potato.  Yuck. 

Tomorrow's a new day.  It's only lunch.  What can I do tonight?

Trek on.

She Treks

I crave the outdoors.  Every cell in my body is excited by a trek outside, whether it be a morning walk or a vacation hike in the mountains.  We intentionally swapped more space in the 'burbs for a smaller apartment so we could live across the street from the beach on Lake Michigan.  I anticipate all that is new, an opportunity to explore.  I can be intimidated by the unknown and the unfamiliar, but it still makes my senses tingle in anticipation.  I savor the natural high from the energy coursing through my veins as I climb an incline to get to the top, or push through the obstacles to the end of the journey. 

Perhaps I'm a frustrated west-coaster living a life in the Midwest.  As much I would love for every day to hold a new trail to run or hike upon, the reality is that my husband and I live in an urban area with a toddler.  I hate to say what constitutes "downhill" skiing for us here in the Midwest.  These days my treks are much more bound to what I can do with a carrier or a jogger. 

Still, I'm more and more aware all the time that my own daily choices largely dictate my attitude.  There are many areas that I trek through in my life.  Sometimes they are physical in nature, other times emotional, spiritual, career-oriented, or involve the new world of parenting.  Sometimes the daily trek is mundane, quite frankly.  Diaper rash, temper tantrums, cooking dinner, cleaning the toilet, snapping at my husband instead of being patient. Sometimes the daily trek is refreshing...seeing my son grow and hearing him babble, a good study, working with my hands, decorating, experimenting in the kitchen, listening to my husband and laughing together.  Sometimes the trek is ongoing over years, and it's hard to see where the end of the trail will be.  It's plodding one foot in front of the other, through each mile and then the next through tough relationships and painful seasons in our lives.  Other times it's the awesome mountaintop view or the satisfying, screaming rush down the Canadian Rockies. Whatever it is, I'm striving to trek onward with a perspective that is both authentic and God-honoring, knowing I stumble A LOT along the trail.  That's life, right?

Trek on.