I didn't pick Wildflower because I have a long-abiding love for studying them, although I have always loved taking pictures of them. The photos in my blog header are images I took while hiking in California with my husband, son, dad, and stepmother on Shasta Mountain.
I picked Wildflower because it has intimate meaning to me in terms of learning to like myself, to feel more confident about who God created me to be.
Years ago I knew a small group of women. While walking through the streets of Chicago with one of these women, she mentioned two other people in our circle. She talked about their beauty and their accomplishments, the rich and tasteful lives they led. She described them as red roses.
She described me as a wildflower. You know (the idea of her comparison, anyway)...a wildflower is still nice with redeeming qualities, but not quite a rose. A little on the outer edge of high standards.
To be fair, I don't believe she was trying to inflict pain. I think she was calling out our differences. She chuckled and I laughed along with her, accepting that of course people would see a wildflower and not a rose. I don't think she intended for her comment to stay with me. That was my doing. The reason it stayed with me is because I did see myself as less and always have. She just stated aloud what I didn't want to admit about how I felt, because it wouldn't sound centered or spiritual.
Through the journey of being a mom, raising a son much like myself, I'm seeing myself differently these days. I see my intensity not as a characteristic to "dial down," but as a large resource for determination, energy and willingness to offer gifts to others. I see my creativity and imagination not as odd but as part of a unique voice to speak for myself. I'm learning to see my past failures not as boulders of shame to carry but as stepping stones in my life where God teaches me. I'm truly receiving God's love. I'm focusing on appreciating the people in my life who love me rather than obsessing about winning the favor of those who do not. I'm working to dwell less on finding significance from people and instead dwell in God's Word.
So I circle back around to where I began. Recently when I visited the site of an artisan and blogger I enjoy, she was offering a necklace on sale. Initially, I confess, I clicked the link because I was interested in the jewelry for a discounted price. But the necklace caught me off guard...it was called Wildflower. Since I've never forgotten the earlier statement the woman made, the jewelry name sparked my interest. I loved the piece and was caught by new thoughts. Just as the artisan transformed the metal charm into the desired shape containing the wildflower image, God transformed the comment and my heart in the process.
I realized I could choose how to receive her comment...and so many other events in my life. She may not exactly have meant it for harm or for good, but suddenly I saw it as good. I could choose to love what God created instead of constantly questioning and complaining about His plan for good.
|Necklace by Lisa Leonard Designs|
The thing about wildflowers is that they grow in all kinds of environments. Green leaves and colorful blossoms burst forth from between the rocks. Unexpected beauty. They ornament an dull landscape yet withstand the elements. Life-giving. Steadfast.
I'm embracing myself as a wildflower and the richness I have to offer. I wear my necklace often and it reminds me of truth.
So my new blog name was born...Wildflower. And proud of it.
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